Golf Rules for Seniors

These are the new rules that help me play golf better.

Rule #1. A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough with no penalty. Senior players should not be penalized for uncontrollable Mechanical phenomena.

Rule # 2. A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled had it not hit the tree and can play the ball from there.

Rule # 3. There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging him or herself with a penalty stroke.

Rule # 4. If a putt passes over a hole without dropping in, it is 'deemed to have dropped.' The law of gravity supercedes the law of golf.

Rule # 5. Advertisements proclaim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new clubs, balls, shoes, etc. Since this is financially impossible for the average senior golfer, a stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.

Rule # 6. There is no penalty for so called 'out of bounds.' If penny-pinching golf club owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.

Rule # 7. There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard as golf balls should float. That they do not float is a technical problem that manufacturers have yet to overcome. Golfers should not be punished for manufacturers's shortcomings.

Rule # 8. Putts that stop close enough to the cup so that they can be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.